


paging doctor scoobert dooby doo

by samajama



Category: One Direction (Band), Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated (TV 2010)
Genre: Gen, like this entire fic is COMPLETE SILLINESS don't take anything seriously, the boys are the scooby doo 'gang' but like no one is a dog, zombie-ish things if that bothers you i guess but like it's all silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 01:28:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2210520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samajama/pseuds/samajama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>an emo band returns from the dead and unleashes a dancing plague on the world. can the 1d gang stop them before it's too late?</p><p>or 1d is the scooby doo gang and 5sos plays around with some voodoo</p>
            </blockquote>





	paging doctor scoobert dooby doo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [louistumlinson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/louistumlinson/gifts), [broner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/broner/gifts).



> okay this is a present for my pal kara nlall bc it's her bday !! yay !!
> 
> this is basically a completely plagiarized episode of scooby doo mystery incorporated (dance of the undead) -- watch it, it's great
> 
> i'm not making any money off of this though so i doubt anyone cares 
> 
> i'm not affiliated with scoob or 1d, please don't sue me
> 
> this is INTENTIONALLY BAD and PURPOSELY STUPID please realize that
> 
> in case it's not clear: louis=shaggy, harry=scooby, zayn=velma, niall=fred, liam=daphne
> 
> the title of the fic is a line from the episode it's not rly important
> 
> this is unbetaed bc kara is my beta and well

“This is Nick Grimshaw reporting all of your music news live from the site of the famous 5 Seconds of Summer place crash thirty years ago.”  He holds up a photo of four scruffy-looking Australian boys.  “This is them before they were dead!  And this,” he gestures to the bearded man next to him, “was their manager, Ben Winston.”

The man waves, looking mildly terrified.  “That was the night emo died.”

Nick, still strikingly upbeat, “Do you still think about that night?”

“Of course.  I remember it like it was thirty years ago.  It was…Voodoo.  They were cursed.”

At that moment, ghostly fingertips reach up from the ground beneath Nick, grabbing at his ankles.  Another pair of arms reach around Ben and pull him out of frame.  Just before the camera turns off, it shows the barely recognizable face of Luke Hemmings.”

/ / /

On the other side of the screen, Louis and Harry shriek nearly dumping their bowl of popcorn.  “Like, what the hell was that?”

Harry just whimpers and buries his face in Louis’s neck.  “I dunno, but knowing the boys, we’re gonna find out.”

X X X

“Does every bit of scary news have to be followed by an immediate ‘Let’s go investigate’?” Louis says exasperatedly.

Niall, Zayn, and Liam replay in unison, “Yes.”

“Welcome to my shop!” someone interrupts from behind the counter.  “I’m Greg James, owner and proprietor.  Can I help you with anything?”

“Yeah, actually,” Zayn says.

Niall asks, “Have you ever heard of a band called 5 Seconds of Summer?”

“Heard of them?” Greg laughs.  “I have every record they ever released right here in the store.”  A pause.  “Of course, they only released one…”  He grabs the vinyl and puts it on.  “Here’s their biggest and only hit: She Looks So Perfect.”

_Heeeey, hey, heeey, hey_

“Hey, that _is_ pretty catchy,” Zayn says, tapping his foot. 

Greg pulls out a projector and says, “Hold on, I’ve got slideshows prepared of every musical group from the last sixty years.”  He turns it on and begins narrating, “5 Seconds of Summer… They couldn’t quite ride the fame train the way they wanted to.”  On the screen, a newspaper with the headline _5 Seconds of Fame_ appears.  “So they turned to Voodoo magic to further their career.  They cast some spells, cursed rival bands… You name it, they did it.  They always said they’d come back from the grave.  And now…it looks like they have.”

“Doesn’t anybody ever stay dead around here?” Harry asks to no avail.

X X X

Later that night at a local pub, one of the regular performances is interrupted by the zombiefied 5SOS.  They start playing a song about a Voodoo doll that the pub’s audience can’t help but listen to.  After a moment the crowd begins dancing uncontrollably.  Literally.  They’re no longer about to control their movements; they can’t do anything besides continue dancing to the music.

/ / /

After this latest incident, the Mayor calls the gang to the hospital.  “We found them like this at a local pub,” the Mayor tells them.

“That’s called ‘moshing’ or ‘slam dancing.’  That’s how you’re supposed to dance to emo music,” Liam says matter-of-factly.  “And you said those dance lessons would never pay off.”

Zayn just gives him a sidelong glance before shaking his head.  “Doctor, what’s going to happen to them?”

“If we can’t find a cure within twenty-four hours, they’ll dance themselves into a cataleptic state.  They’ll be zombies for the rest of their lives.”

X X X

“This is the graveyard where 5 Seconds of Summer is buried,” Zayn explains.

Louis groans.  “Why do we _always_ go to the spooky places at nighttime?”

“We should just come back tomorrow,” Harry agrees.

“Or never.”

“Those poor dancing people can’t wait that long,” Liam says sadly.

“Yeah, they’re counting on us,” Niall adds.

“I’m just saying,” Louis continues.  “Why can’t we, for once, go to the haunted whatever during the dayli- _whoa_!”  Harry trips into Louis causing them to stumble into a grave that’s recently been dug up.

“You found Ashton’s grave!” Liam exclaims.

“More like Harry’s clumsiness did,” Louis grumbles, rubbing his elbow.

“Heeeey.”

“Sorry, baby.”  A thumping comes from the coffin beneath them.  Warily, Louis and Harry pull it open.  “It’s Ben Winston!  5SOS’s old manager.”

“Did they do this to you?” Zayn asks.

Niall adds, “And where are they?”

Ben mumbles with his mouth taped shut.

“They’re standing?” Harry begins to decipher.  Ben continues mumbling.  “They’re standing right?  Oh!  They’re standing right behind you!”  He pauses.  “Wait.”  He turns around and yells upon seeing the ghostly form of Ashton standing over his own grave.

Calum, Michael, and Luke suddenly appear as well, and they all begin chasing after the boys and Ben. 

They manage to dodge them for a while until Niall slaps one of them with a shovel.  Ouch.  “You just got IT’d,” he announces.  “Improvise Trapped!”

Once the others catch up, though, Niall seems to be the trapped one until Harry and Louis show up with the Mystery Machine.  “Get in!”  They do and Louis quickly pulls away before they can be followed.

X X X

They return to the record store to regroup with Ben.

“5 Seconds of Summer,” Ben says.  “And they’re bringing emo back.”

“And dancing zombies along with them,” add Harry.

“Apparently this isn’t the first time this whole dancing sickness thing has happened,” Greg explains.  “In the 18th century, the same thing occurred and it was believed to have happened from listening to cursed and evil music.”

Just as he finishes speaking, they hear music playing from outside.

_Tell me where you’re hiding_  
_your Voodoo doll_  
_‘Cause I can’t control myself_

“Quick!  Cover your ears!” Zayn orders.

“We need to fight this musically!  Ultimate…power chord…” Greg says before succumbing to the dancing sickness.

“Why aren’t you guys being affected?” Liam asks Louis and Harry.

Louis simply says, “Tone deaf.”

Harry smiles dreamily and says, “Whenever I’m with Louis, I hear music.  Makes it easy to tune this out.”

Louis coos.  Zayn drops his arms.  “That’s disgustingly sappy.  Even for you two.”

“Zayn, no!” Niall says, but it’s too late.  The three of them start to dance.

Louis and Harry glance nervously at one another.  “What would Zayn do?” Louis asks himself.  They seem to realize at the same time what they need to do. 

“Little Mix.”

/ / /

They sneak backstage and wait for the girls.

“What are you guys doing here?” Perrie asks.

“5 Seconds of Summer is back, and they’re turning everyone into dancing zombies,” Louis explains.

“Sounds like you’ll need the ultimate the power chord,” Jade notes.

Harry looks nervous.  “Can you play it?”

“ _Please_ ,” scoffs Leigh Anne.

Jesy bounces up and down excitedly.  “Ooh!  Band battle!  Can we wear our war paint?”

Louis and Harry glance at one another.  “Yeah, sure, let’s go!”

/ / /

_I don’t wanna stay_  
_Wanna run away_  
_But I’m trapped_  
_Under your spell_

The girls along with Harry and Louis arrive on the street and begin playing to counteract the effect of the emo song.

**_Now I’m done with all your negativity_ **  
**_And I’m gonna let it wash all over me_**  
**_I’ll be stronger than your words_ **  
**_Baby, I’m harder_ **

The bands both continue playing as hard as they can; the people on the streets slip in and out of their zombie dancing state.

_Won’t you please stop loving me to death?_

The girls start sliding into the dancing curse as well, and Louis asks, “What do we do now?”

“We rock,” Harry answers.

They pick up guitars and continue the song until the girls can pick up and join them.  Together they manage to over the emo music of 5 Seconds of Summer.

The boys close in on 5SOS.  “Now let’s see who’s really behind the evil emo music,” Niall announces.  “Luke Hemmings is actually…”  He takes off undead Luke’s mask.  “…Luke Hemmings?”

The other members are unmasked to reveal that they, to, are just…themselves.  “Ashton Irwin? Calum Hood?  Michael Clifford?”

“You’re alive?” Ben asks.  “But the plane crash…”

“- was an elaborate hoax, wasn’t it?” accuses Zayn.

“Well…yeah,” says Luke.  “All we wanted to do was play some emo music.”

“And be super rich and super famous,” adds Calum.  “But we weren’t.”

“Maye the fact that we only had one song had something to do with it,” suggests Ashton.

“So we decided to fake our own deaths,” Michael says simply.

“We were gonna write the perfect song and come back with a bang!” Luke explains.

“So why wait thirty years?” Zayn wonders.

“Writing the perfect song took time, mate.  We wanted to return after a year, but by the time we had a tune, no one listened to emo anymore.”

Michael adds with a smirk, “But everyone loves the undead.”

“So in the end, desperate for success, 5 Seconds of Summer unleashed a dancing plague on the world using an inharmonic chord with special frequencies designed to induce post-hypnotic suggestion… To sell their music,” Zayn explains with an air of finality.

“Just as I suspected,” Niall whispers, “but didn’t say.”

X X X

“So when are we all going on tour?” Harry asks the girls.

“Uh, we’re not,” says Jesy.  “No offense.”

Louis smiles.  “Eh, that’s okay, H.  We’ll just have to go solo.  Together.”

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> happy bday to kara and i love scoob


End file.
